Ok so here goes, ever since I can
remember I have been so hung up on my body image and how it affects me. I’ve
never been skinny like my mum, I got my dad’s side of the family's genes lucky
me! Ugh thunder thighs, a pouch, huge boobies and bingo wings.
I have always envied those with little
or no boobies, a flat stomach and thighs that do not run together when you
walk.
When I was in middle school that's when
the weight started to pile on, we found out my dad had muscular dystrophy and
it was a huge blow to him and the family. It affected me and so I started to
eat and eat and eat.
I have tried ever fad diet on the block
and the one which affected me the most was Cambridge as I didn't eat anything
solid for 4 months YES 4 WHOLE MONTHS ..... Finally allowed food after losing 4
stone and I got so panicked I would put it back on (which I did) I became
bulimic this was at the age of around 22.
I've since then dieted my ass of
literally to get into my wedding dress size 8 to then eat my way through
pregnancy and end up with a post pregnancy body at a size 22.
Even when I was a size 8 I wasn't happy
what I see in the mirror isn't what my husband or friends see, I wish it was.
After hitting my biggest after my
daughter Autumn was born I started on Herbalife and it actually worked for me I
lost 6 stone and got to a size 10 and maintained it for 18 months, in the last
6 months I’ve gained a stone.
I can put make up on, do my hair but
every time I look in the mirror I feel disgusted at how I could after all my
hard work put weight back on.
The stress my family is under at this point in
time is immense and when I go all day and don't eat my body doesn't start to
work to its potential and when I finally eat at night I tend to binge and carb
load.
Writing this is quite hard it’s me
finally admitting to myself out loud I don't like what I see in the mirror I
hate feeling disgusted with my appearance, I hate my boobs my giggly bits I
hate seeing myself naked and now I hate to be seen naked (by my husband).
I am taking steps which if you can
identify in how I am feeling I think you should try too!
I know this sounds vain and silly but I
look in the mirror wearing my underwear and look at myself and I compliment
myself on the things I do like...
I like my eyes, they are pretty and the
colour works great with my glasses
I like my feet (silly I know) but I
think they look pretty with painted toes in sandals.
I like my small waist (no matter how
big I am it’s always a little smaller)
I then smile at myself ... did you know
if you smile in the mirror it sets of endorphins (the happy chemical in your
brain) which makes you happier.
So this is a little bit more of Aimee
how I see myself.
To find out more about me check out my previous personal get to know Aimee post here
Can you relate?
Yes I can totally relate. Well done for speaking up about this, I find small steps work best. One week I focus on increasing my activity, then a little more, then reducing my food a little at a time. I remind myself this is a long term thing not just until my next holiday. It's a health thing now instead of what I look like. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThe first thing that struck me was your totally gorgeous smile and how infective it is. Wishing you the best of luck with your body image - not silly at all to look in the mirror and praise yourself. You are lovely!
ReplyDeleteso important to compliment the things you do like about yourself - not vanity at all! Wow 6 stone, you have done amazing!
ReplyDeleteI totally relate. Keep on praising yourself hun, you're beautiful x
ReplyDeleteYou are beautiful and don't let anyone tell you different. I too have problems with accepting my body so I understand your struggle. You have done well though well done.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.fadedspring.co.uk
Totally get where you're coming from and I know that it doesn't help when people tell you this but you're gorgeous! XX If only we women could take our self worth from the fact that we're brilliant humans rather than how we look, the world would be a better place right?
ReplyDeleteI totally get where you are coming from but what I love about this post is the honesty with your struggle, you now just need to learn to accepy how fabulous you are, how amazing your body is, what it has been through and high five yourself x
ReplyDeletei think complimenting yourself it such an important thing to do, definitely something i should do more.
ReplyDelete